Pain Not Known
by fineontheoutside
Summary: "I don't remember my mother or my father so I can't exactly mourn their deaths. I also can't seem to remember any of my friends so it's not like I miss them. You can't be hurt by what you can't remember Kuroba-san." Where Kaito finds a girl who looks exactly like the ghost that still haunts him.


She catches his eyes as he stood unseen in a corner of the world. It was autumn, a slight chill sitting upon the Tokyo landscape; the full frigid winter yet to come. She catches his eyes for just a split second and all ready, he's falling. It's been so long since he's felt anything remotely similar to this. She's beautiful. So breath taking in every way and even a street away, Kaito could feel the bittersweet current of nostalgia drowning him. If feels so familiar. He'd forgotten what it felt like.

Before he can stop himself, before he can ration out the most effective method to take action, he's running. Before he even notices what in the world he's doing, he's taken off in a full sprint after this woman. It's crazy, he knows how crazy it seems, how disregardedly insane it is for the twenty-three year old gentleman he is to be chasing after a woman he'd only seen for seconds in the overly crowded streets of Japan. Still, he doesn't slow down. He had forgotten how to.

It takes an effort to get to her, fighting waves of people to reach out to her. When he finally is behind her, he can vaguely smell something intoxicating. Only when he's walking behind this brown haired woman and defines her perfume as something like 'autumn', does he realize how stalker-like he is being. He curses his stubbornness and love-sick puppy attitude and takes a deep breath. As there is a steady number of people constantly brush against his shoulders and hers as they were in a crowded city such as Tokyo. When a stranger brushes past the brown haired woman, swiftly and with extreme skill, he sticks his hand into her purse. He grabs the first thing he feels and pulls his hand out almost immediately. She doesn't notice and he takes a look at his prize- a packaged tampon.

Kaito releases a muffled yelp and sticks it into his pocket, unsure of what to do with the item. He sighs a little and prepares for another snatch from something out of the purse. He's disgusted with himself, with as low as he had fallen to talk to the girl. To steal something and then to pretend she had dropped it. But he can't help but feel the rush he hadn't felt in years, and enjoy it the slightest bit. For the first time in years, he's finally found something worth stealing. He pulls out her phone from out of her purse. It's a small blue flip phone, so very different from his newest model iphone.

"Hey," he says awkwardly, trying to get her attention to strike up a conversation. And in this second of eternity, the fates finally gave Kaito the chance to move on with his life. To continue forth from the muddy depression he fell into during his last year of high school and never really managed to get back on his feet from. "I believe you dropped your phone ma'am," he tells her, but she doesn't look back at him. She hasn't heard him. "Hey," he tries again, and slowly, almost exactly like in the movies and books that _she_ used to love, the girl turns around to face Kaito.

She looks at him with a pleasant face that immediately stretches into one of surprise. Before Kaito can trace her face to the ghost that still haunts him, a rather gruff man grabs the purse right off of her shoulder and cuts the strap fluently with a pocket knife. He bolts before the girl can even attempt to grab the purse. Kaito, without thinking (because he seemed to stop thinking about anything after his eyes laid upon the girl's), runs, just like he did when he saw the beautiful brunette; he runs after the thief and catches up to his pace easily. "What an amateur," Kaito sighs. Honestly, not everyone can be the legendary phantom thief, but really? This was pathetic. The common thief comes at Kaito with the knife pointed at him, but flawlessly, Kaito kicks it out of the man's hands. The man, in a panicky fashion drops the purse and runs off, disappearing into the mass of people.

"Are you all right!?" the woman yells, catching up to Kaito. She's out of breath. There's long, perfectly disheveled hair that's cut in artistic, tasteful layers. She has the fine collarbones of a princess. Haunting, blue eyes that pierces through him like the plain of a stormy sea. She looks like _her_. From all those years ago, a splitting image of her. She'd even be around her age by now.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kaito answers, feeling heat come rushing to his cheeks. "You uh, dropped your phone," he says lamely, holding her small, blue phone out towards her. She smiles at him sincerely. "Thank you…" "Kuroba Kaito." She nods. "Kuroba Kaito-san, then" He hands her the purse with the broken strap to which she graciously accepts. "Would you like to get coffee somewhere?" he asks suddenly. The words come flying out thoughtlessly. He doesn't know why he's suggesting such a thing at all. He hasn't been able to see another girl after _her_; surely this would be no different.

"With me? Um, I-I'll" she stutters, slightly pink in the face. He nods understandingly. It wasn't like he expected anything different. In any situation, the outcome was always the same. She wasn't interested, he accepted that. "Forget about it," he said calmly, sliding on his poker face to hide his disappointment. "I'm glad I could help," he mutters and turns on his heels to retreat back to anywhere away from her.

"Actually," she says shyly. She grabs the sleeves from his favorite blue American jacket. He turns around and sees her blushing furiously, looking down at his feet. "I'll buy if you don't mind. You did manage to save my purse after all." Nike, his jacket read, named after the goddess of victory.

"I've never caught your name," Kaito says, as they walk to the café that the brunette recommends and leads him to. An awkward silence falls between them. They walk a good distance, making it to the doors of the café before she whispers, "Natalie." "You're an American?" he asks her. He swore she looked Japanese, but then again, he was never good at telling that sort of thing. "No…" she answers quietly. The pause grows like a tumor before she destroys it with her words. "Natalie's not my real name actually. I got it from that one actress, Natalie Portman, you know?"

"Yeah, yeah. V for Vendetta, right?" he knew the film with the heroic masked man. She nodded happily. "She's also in The Other Boleyn Girl. She's been in a lot of movies, I really admire her," she admitted timidly. "So what's your real name? You don't like it or something? It can't be that bad," Kaito smiles at her unconsciously. He feels so light, the terrible weight of the guilt and worry he suffered from quickly evaporating with just looking at her. They order their drinks. Kaito a coffee- black and Natalie a hot chocolate. Natalie leads Kaito to a small table in the corner of the small, cozy café. "I come here a lot. It helps me think; get fresh, new ideas I'm a writer, you know?" She's smiling at him shyly, and though he honestly is interested in her work, Kaito asks for her name. She laughs lightly. "You really want to know, don't you? Maybe I don't want you to know it." She gives a wink her bright, blue eyes.

"What if I guess?" Kaito offers and Natalie raises an eyebrow, telling him to go ahead.

"Lisa" "Nope"

"Rei" "Do I look like a Rei?"

"Mashiro" "No, but my name does have a color in it"

_It couldn't be._

"Aiko" "Closer, my name also has a –ko ending to it."

_There's no way, it can't be _her_._

"Aoko"

He speaks the name slowly, tasting the sound of the name he hasn't said in years. He wants to say it over and over again. "Bingo," Aoko says and takes a sip of her hot chocolate. Aoko always hated coffee. "I'm surprised you got it so easily. I mean, I gave hints but Blue Child isn't something any sane person would name their-" "Aoko" "Hm?" "Nakamori Aoko," he asks quietly, suddenly afraid of the answer. She looks up, slight surprise gleaming in her eyes. She doesn't answer but the hot drink rattling against the saucer as she tries to place her drink down answers for him. "Did I know you?" she asks hesitantly, with honest eyes.

How did he not notice before? Her brown hair, blue eyes should have been enough. But somehow, it didn't cross his mind that it could ever possibly be _her_. "Aoko," he says her name again. Aoko. To make up for all of the years he wasted not saying it. He takes her hands and feels slightly embarrassed that hers is warmer."Aoko," he says again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you. I should've been by yours side at graduation." Kaito tells her and he can't bear to lose her again. He'll do anything for the two of them to be like they were back in high school.

Aoko looks at him timidly. Her face is painted a pale shade of red. "I-I-um," she stutters. She stuttered a lot whenever she got nervous. She takes a deep breath, and finds a sudden interest in her empty mug of cocoa. "My last year of high school, I apparently was under a lot of stress. The doctors said that after graduation, my dad died of an accident while on duty. My mother was dead ever since I was young, and my best friend suddenly moved to a place and couldn't get in contact with him. The rest of my friends seemed to have scattered to too many places to try to keep track and get back together. I had to cope with all of it so suddenly…" Tears form a misty cover in her eyes. "I'm not actually exactly sure what happened. The doctors explained it to me plenty of times but they used too many big words. And shortly after they let me out into the big world and I got so frustrated, I lost my memories again within the month. I've been switching doctors often so I'm actually unsure how many times it's happened or…"

"Aoko," Kaito whispers. "Aoko that's not right. You were all right when I left. Where are Keiko and Akako and Hakuba? You're dad was all right when I left!" he nearly yells. The café becomes quite for a second, only to dissolve into a thick, bubbly layer of whispers. "It's all right," Aoko says, a gentle smile playing on her lips. She's comforting him instead of the other way around. "I don't remember my mother or my father so I can't exactly mourn their deaths. I also can't seem to remember any of my friends so it's not like I miss them. You can't be hurt by what you can't remember Kuroba-san."

"You used to call me Kaito," a sliver of his voice says quickly. "And you're wrong; you can be hurt by not knowing. I see it right now, you're in pain. You may not know me, Aoko. But I know you. I know you better than you know yourself and more than I know myself. I intend on releasing you from this pain."

"Well," Aoko says, straightening the napkins on the table. "I suppose I should try to get to know you better too. You're a very complicated character…Kaito, just like a lot of the characters in my stories. Maybe you and I, we could balance each other out." She fishes for her wallet out of the purse with the broken strap. She pays with only loose change and take's Kaito's arm. "Let's go," she giggles, very unlike the twenty-three year old she is.

_This is a one shot because I have no idea how to continue the story… Okay yeah, please review!_

_I just really love AUs where Aoko loses her memory. I also love her as a writer or a police officer, so don't bet too surprised if I write something like that in the future._

_I don't know how often I'll be able to write since school starts tomorrow for me and I'm taking five AP classes, one Pre-AP class, and band… I'll try my best but I'm unfortunately going to have a lot less time to write._


End file.
